Badgers in the World Cup

I bet you didn't know my friend was playing in The World Cup! His real name is Schnorbitz but he has donned a human suit and is playing for real. Sadly, his hair has let him down on this occasion and it turns out he has been spotted by the Badgerazzi. Poor Schnor.

On the footballing front, aren't Germany doing well. My friend (who is a skunk) is following Germany very closely. As he said - "All Germans smell, that's why I identify with them".

I am not sure whether they will beat Spain. As my skunk friend said "The Spanish are slippery fuckers". Apologies for his crudeness but skunks can be like that.

So, on to my home country. Where did it go wrong?

Well, let's consider it. John Terry has a babe for a wife. Why on earth did he put it about elsewhere? Silly man. Poor decision-making. That explains Germany running rings around him.

Ashley Cole? Fool.

Rooney, poor Rooney, had the weight of the world on his shoulders and couldn't handle it. No surprise there.

And several others just didn't bother.

Cut their salaries, give a load to pay off the national debt and look to more gracious sports for the lessons.

The Big Old Dragon should have them for breakfast.

Better scurry, the Librarian is coming. See you soon.

More volcanoes

It seems I may have been a bit premature with the volcano comment. I managed to hitch a ride to Bermuda in April and I have only just returned. You would not believe how many wasps I encountered on the journey. It was all rather tasty but it just took so long. I had to get a ship from Bermuda to Tristan da Cunha, stow on a banana boat to Cape Town, a lorry to Kenya, a motorbike to Morocco then a gypsy caravan from Gibraltar to Calais. Then I hitched on another boat and then the train to RTW. The only time to transport didn't run on time was the Dover top Tonbridge stretch.

How can it be that a poor Badger can travel half way around the World with no problem but then I get stuck in England. What a joke!

I come back and find our what. Broc Clegg and Dodgy Cameroon have taken over the master Sett. Poor old Gobdog Broon didn't make it. Ho hum.

Still, it was a nice break and now I'm going to get back to work. The roof is dripping, some fox stole one of my pups so I need to track him down and there's rumour that The Big Old Dragon might return this summer. We'll have to see.

Finally, I heard that the Genius from PMS is on the Prowl. I'd better look out!

Climate Change

Well, I don't know whether you put it down to climate change but the most bizarre thing happened to me last night.

I was plodding along on the way back to my sett to see Mrs Badger. I've still got a slight limp due to the paw (http://badgersview.blogspot.com/2009/12/well-what-funny-old-day.html). I hadn't had any sherbet so what I am about to say is real.

All of a sudden a massive blue box turned up and out popped some ponce in a suit.

"Come this way Wilf" he said to me.
"How do you know my name?" I said.
"I know everything Wilf, I am a Time Lord" he said.
"Well, I don't know about you but I've got to get home or Mrs Badger will have my Badger nuts and throw them on the fire".
"Don't worry, once we've had the most amazing experience of your short Badger life I will return you here at this exact moment in time."

Well, that did it for me. And, boy, did we have some adventures!

I saw the Birth of The Big Old Dragon (http://badgersview.blogspot.com/2009/12/big-old-dragon.html), walked through the trenches of the Great Badger War (my Uncle Broc died there) and saw things that would turn your hair white.

I will tell you about them some time.

And, the Time Lord even returned me home in time. I couldn't take the smile off my face. Mrs Badger thought I'd been on the Pernod again - little does she know! Ha.

Remember, if you see a blue box, don't ignore it. Climb into it and see where it takes you.

Personal Branding

I was talking to one of my successful Badger friends over the weekend and he started talking about personal brands. "Personal brand, what's that?" I said.

He said in part it's what people say about you and what you say about yourself on the internet - take a look at the one below for the friend in question.

http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1475282/na

That's odd, I thought. How do I control what people say about me when I'm a mere Badger?

So I thought. Then I thought a bit more. And more again. And then I got it.

I have to be clear and consistent with what I do. And my brand isn't just me, it's Mrs Badger too and our badger children. Hmmm, more on branding tomorrow when I think about what my personal brand actually is.

Russ the Dragon

There I was down in the dumps feeling sorry for myself. Mrs Badger is upset because I've got to rest up for 6 weeks. I was wondering what to do when I heard a scraping outside the Sett.

Luckily my friend Russ the Dragon was at the door to see me. Now, Russ is a complex dragon. Most dragons are complex but Russ is most complex than most. For a start, he runs a little business where he rents out properties all over the World to other Dragons (and some other creatures but Dragons are his speciality). Not just any old properties, these are special ones. Like the White Clouds of Groombridge, and the Dark Covens of Washington. In fact I think Russ was the first dragon to arrange a visit to the ruins of Dragalot, where that old git George slayed The Big Old Dragon, one of the Dragon heroes.

Aside from his business ventures Russ is very good at jumping - you can see what I mean by his photo. I don't know where he gets his talent from but he can jump as high as a horse. One day he jumped so high that they say his hair got wet from the rainclouds. Now, I don't know whether that's true or not but today he jumped all the way to the top of the Acorn tree to get me some nuts that hadn't been swiped by the Squirrels.

So Russ and I roasted the nuts on the fire and Russ sang one of his favourite Dragon songs - Squirrel Nuts roasting on a Badgers Fire. It was very festive and very seasonal.

Then Russ did the funniest thing. I turned my back and he was gone. Just like that. It was almost as though he was uncomfortable with what I'd said. I had just started to ask him about the rumours of the reappearance of The Big Old Dragon (who is said to smell so bad you can sense he is near as soon as he sets foot in the Kingdom) when he was off. I looked up to see where he'd jumped to but not a sign. I never put Russ down as scared of The Big Old Dragon but maybe he is. Or maybe he's on his side. I'll find out soon I guess.

The nuts made me feel better. I'll have a kip now.

Remember, my friends, if you see a pink jumping swoosh the chances are it is Russ the Dragon. And if you do see him, tell him to come back and see me. Thank you.