More volcanoes

It seems I may have been a bit premature with the volcano comment. I managed to hitch a ride to Bermuda in April and I have only just returned. You would not believe how many wasps I encountered on the journey. It was all rather tasty but it just took so long. I had to get a ship from Bermuda to Tristan da Cunha, stow on a banana boat to Cape Town, a lorry to Kenya, a motorbike to Morocco then a gypsy caravan from Gibraltar to Calais. Then I hitched on another boat and then the train to RTW. The only time to transport didn't run on time was the Dover top Tonbridge stretch.

How can it be that a poor Badger can travel half way around the World with no problem but then I get stuck in England. What a joke!

I come back and find our what. Broc Clegg and Dodgy Cameroon have taken over the master Sett. Poor old Gobdog Broon didn't make it. Ho hum.

Still, it was a nice break and now I'm going to get back to work. The roof is dripping, some fox stole one of my pups so I need to track him down and there's rumour that The Big Old Dragon might return this summer. We'll have to see.

Finally, I heard that the Genius from PMS is on the Prowl. I'd better look out!

The Badger is Back

Wow, what a two month period.

I got caught by a massive wasp whilst I was out foraging and I have been on the run. What a nightmare.

I jumped on a plane and ended up in Singapore. They don't like Badgers there! Somebody caught me and tried to cook me. What's that all about?

So I managed to get on Alan Air flight to KL. Had a good time there. Met a worm who is 700 years old - almost as old as Yoda!

Then, when tired of KL, I managed to boat and train all the way to Russia. It was cold but that snap of cold weather prepared me for it.

So, now I am back in RTW, and I am just in time for some eggs. I saw the Easter Bunny yesterday, she said that this year is a good one for storage of chocolate. Still a shame about the Cadbury's / Kraft thing but that's life. I was talking to some skunks in Russia about it - they didn't give a shit. Chocolate is chocolate as far as they're concerned. Boy, did they stink?

Anyway, now I'm back. I need to see a few Badgers and see a Badger about a dog, but I'll be back on after Easter. I might pop to see an old Broc in Paris, but let's see.

It's great to be back - have a badger filled Easter!

Blair Enquiry

Well, that's a new one on me. I went on to the BBC website and I saw a picture of a man I recognised. I listened to the people talking and realised it was Tony Blair. He is the distant cousin of Blair Badger, one of our famous brethren. As Gary Jules would say 'Mad World'.

Blair Badger was accused in our World of invading the Evil Wolf Kingdom. For years people had been scared of the Wolves and at one stage the silly Wolves launched an attack on a major sett in another country. For a long time people were scared of going around in case the Wolves came and got us. And when they got us they did awful things. they cut off Badgers noses, stuck bamboo under our paw claws and called us nasty names.

And, when Blair Badger organised a gang of Badgers to help him go and fight those Wolves, people supported it. It is only because this war has been going on for years and we have lost several pups that Badgers are complaining. I think that Badgers fail to realise that war is not a surgical procedure, it's not like paying somebody off with severance, it is vicious and horrible and Badgers get hurt, emotionally and physically. Sometimes people die. But if it makes the planet safer for Badgers to roam then isn't it worth it?

Some say our war with the Wolves will never go. It is as deep as the war with good and evil. Sometimes it is clever, sometimes it is nasty. But always people, Badgers, religions suffer.

Until we find peace there will always be a Badger out there hurting. And a Wolf. And a wasp. And probably a human too.

Help me help others. Pass on the word. Tell people to support Mr Badger in his bid to make the World a safer place. If necessary I will stand for human Government.

Bankers Pay

1.5 billion? Does anyone even know what that looks like?

I stumbled across a massive wasps nest one day. There were more than a billion wasps. At first I thought this was a huge feast and I would keep it to myself. Then I realised that the sheer number and weight was too much to handle. I told some other Badgers, I panicked that it would get out of hand and I simultaneously hoped no other Badgers would find it and then hoped that somebody would and it would put me out of my misery. I felt responsible for being in possession of so many wasps. It was too many for 1 Badger. It was too many for me and all my Badger friends.

I mean, really, how many wasps does 1 Badger mean? You can't quantify it. Until that point I had been driven by a massive desire to find more and more wasps. I've got a family to feed. But when I saw over a billion I knew that it was too much. I can't say how I knew, or why I knew, but I just knew. I knew that this many wasps was too much for 1 Badger.

It makes you think, doesn't it?

Mrs Badger was right after all.