Wireless

I have managed to sneak back onto one of those high speed things. It's great. I was rummaging under somebodys seat and I have now managed to smuggle some of his sandwich crumbs away.

Now he's gone to the toilet so I have dived into to quickly blog here. Now I'm nosing away, what do I say?

I will just tell you what I can see.

There is a fat bloke in front of me with a silly tie that looks like it was bought in the 80's. There is another bloke beside me who is talking incessantly into his phone.

Oh no, here come the conductor...better hide...

Up North

How is it the song goes? If you go to Bolton, if you go to Manchester or Crewe? Something like that.

Well, I smuggled myself onto a Virgin train today and I am in Manchester. It's bloody snowing. I come here to escape the shitty Southern weather only to be out of the frying pan into a very big fire. How very annoying. Still, that's what you get when you come up North.

Why is it that in such a small country you can get this disparity of temperatures? Global warming? Plate shifts? I don't know. I leave things like that for cleverer badgers to work out.

Still, back to Manchester. I can't understand half of the Badgers up here. They all have funny voices. Why is that? Again, same question. Small question, too many regional accents.

Why is life so complicated?

Oh well, back to the song.

Northern Badgers, crazy useless things who smell of burgers and if you have too much to drink...